QueZIErrA.FM!!

2011-11-06T00:04:00.002+08:00

oh my goshhhhhh..... im missing that boy so damn much. it felt as im im drowning. damn.

never ever let me go.

i will love you always.

2011-09-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

2011-09-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

omfg. her recent entry regarding my last post almost sent jk rowling to shame! she actually visited my blog almost everyday of her life! what a psycho! -spinning stories to others just to make herself feel better, bah, a true pychopatic she must be! exuse me hun, do you actually think your love story is like that of romeo and juliet, where every, tom, dick, harry, jane, sally n molly know that you are attached to him? i am totally clueless that u're attached to him and that's why i added him on fb just as he always tried to add me but i declined until that day.

when he met me last raya, he was attached to yul, u think i knew about it? if i knew, i wouldnt even want to text him in the first place. apparently i stopped msging him after finding out that he's "married" to u ms j. biscuit (she behaved like she's married to him for eternity,. bah). so what's the issue here? excuse me miss, i wouldnt behave like a bitch if u havent enter my life as one! u speak like an empty ms j. biscuit tin. talk , talk and talk like and thinks that u r right all the time. look, ive never intended to steal him from u. nah cos mama thought me to give up my used toys to those unfortunate ones.

ahh, whatever lah. i pray for ur happiness. if ur so insecured n not confident about ur rship, get it "braced". geddit? braced. bahh

anw, work has been so-so. after atiqah left, i felt abit lost but life's gotta move on. people come and go. i guess i just gotta deal with it and be contented with what's left before they're gone.
mood for hari raya is still on green light. just that, time isnt permitting me to do so. aiyah. what to do. promotion baby . promotion.

and.... as much i wanna say i miss jefery alot but i know it's not worth the effort.

ohh how much i hate morning shift but it's alright cos i gotta date with shahrin tomorrow. hehe. it's been a month since i met him due to ramadhan- must respect except on my bdae, met him for merely 10 mins cos he wanna passed me my gift.

and fahrin's jealousy killing me. erghh.

fahrin or shahrin? shahrin or fahrin?

... or is it im saying all of these just to make me forget that i actually still, faithfully, love jefery... hmmmm

2011-08-21T01:40:00.004+08:00

and so i was bored... guess what, i found her blog. mizi's beloved gf. and like a dumb blonde, she ranted about how much she hated mizi's ex gfs especially me. she even resorted to hurling curses and info about me that i, as a lady feels that she's being too much of a slut.

so what if im a slut? i am a high class slut. you do not know how much i went thru with him back then. you do not know how much i love him for those two years. you do not know why i had to hurt him but at the end of the day, he was the one i loved so much. i was with him for two years and it took me 2 freaking years to finally get over him. he hurts me badly. my mistake was i fight fire with fire. maybe because i was so young back then. 17 years old n he was 20. so young, so naive, so playful. yet i had loved him so much.

i mean if i hadnt love him, i wudnt be giving him special surprises on every of his birthday i was with or without him. the impromptu bdae cake i surprised him after he sent me off to work. the zipo lighter with his name engraved on it. even when he's no longer mine, i still gave him what i know he likes. the toy story claw aliens keychain. toystory mug. marley and me storybook. i dont know if he still keeps it, but they were all out of sincerity. i wouldn't rub his body with wet cloth whenever his body itch with rashes. i wudnt follow to his fam gatherings. i wudnt meet him at his work place after school. i wudnt accompany him to the clinic when he was found having to have that sickness, and i still accepted him despite knowing the fact i might get infected. this is not to shame him, but this is to let everyone knows how much i loved him. and how much i hate it when a lady, who has been with him for barely 6months judged me as a slut in his life.

maybe we were both too young at that time. rebellious. playful. mischievous. but i had always forgive him. i had always loved him. until one day he really went away. i know he still did think of me after that. i dont know about now, i dont care. but u, miss tin buscuit, it's up to u to judge mizi, whom u only knew for 6 mths or less bbut it's totally wrong for you to judge me when u havent even met me. those friends of mine that u claimed had helped me didnt help me at all. i helped myself out. no one did. you dont know the story, so dont spout all those stupid, nonsensical facts of yours.

bumped onto one of his ex at arnolds, tampines one day.. guess what, without me bitching about ur stupid characteristics first, she had already did the job perfectly. apparently we, his exes dont have an issue with u. it's u who has an issue with us. ur lack of confidence/ sense of security highly disgust me.

u speak like an empty vessel. or shud i say like an empty tin of miss j. biscuit.?

ur posts show that u need to consult a psychiatrist' help.

I, SITI NUR AISYAH(his ibu, mama, jawa, bantal pelok kucing bla bla bla), HAD LOVED MOHD TARMIZI HASSAN SINCE 04 04 07 TILL 2009. SO WHAT???

2011-06-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

lagu ini kutujukan pada dia yang bernama jefery.

even when we're not together, i will always wait for u. i will always love u. i will always miss u. cos without u, life is meaningless.

2011-06-08T23:42:00.002+08:00

and tonight's the sky is crying with me. .

i miss jefery alot. .
every single beat of my life. .

how i wish i cud always lay my head on his chest till i fall asleep in his warm arms.
woke up the next day in his arms..

my abdominal pain is getting from bad to worst and i need to go for another check up a week later. im really really sick and weak. i don;t feel like doing anything. i just need him right now. i need his assurance n comfort.

and if i died, i'll always pray for his happiness from far. my soul will always be with him.

2011-05-29T03:49:00.002+08:00

happy seventh mth on the 27th. damn, i love this boy sooooo much.. i really do.. i miss him every single time ofr my life.... i want to cuddle him everynight, so tight, he'll turn blue.

u said that u love me
we both know u dont mean it every day
but somehow i got u
so i put up with anyting u said

i'd rather be with u whenever than without u all the time
n i wud forgive u watver just to say that u r mine

because i love u....

2011-02-15T00:56:00.004+08:00

working has been really energy comsuming! so lethargic like fuck. haha but the people around me is really worth my energy and time. I must admit im gonna miss DIGI photo if i were to resign one day. where in the world can I find a supervisor as superb and fun as Jimmy, Dalli and Uncle James. They thought me lots of things. They are mentor. I'm amazed at how possibly could someone way older than me and the rest of the partimers be able to work well with teenagers like us?? i love them. i really doo....

and to jefery, i really love u. if i had to die, i'd rather be with u. i want to be the one u needed most. i want u to be the one i trust the most... thank u for the love that no other man could have given me. i'll keep it with me till the end of my life.

2011-01-30T04:27:00.001+08:00

i love jeff

2011-01-27T02:18:00.006+08:00

To Jefery

let me be the one u need the most
will u be the one i trust the most

i don't care if it hurts
i don't care about what others might say
just as long as u're always here by my side
just as long as u will never let me go

cos jefery
u're very special
u make me smile
u make me laugh
u wiped my tears
u're my guardian angel

i'll always love u till the end of time
im very lucky

happy 3 mths

2011-01-24T04:04:00.002+08:00

Rasullullah SAW bersabda.. ''wanita adalah kepunyaan suaminya yang terakhir."

this really touches my heart.

if im married to jefery, and if God takes him away, I dun wish to find a replacement cos i wanna be with jefery in the world after. i want to be with him in this world and after.

sayang, thank u for loving me.

2011-01-05T03:04:00.000+08:00

hmm THIS song reminds me of someone.. hmmmmmmm.....

2011-01-05T02:41:00.004+08:00

in front of vivo

i love him so damn much

feat arm, jeff n gemok

feat kiz

a rose among the thorns

hopefully we cud celebrate new year together again

koyak koyak

hilang hilang

god, i really cant stop loving him

fireworks welcoming 2011

mat salleh menyebok

wrap in foam

sumpah ini cute

syampu

masai mode

i wish to be locked in his arms forever. (lemas pon takpe)

in conclusion 2011 was a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u so much

2010-12-30T02:18:00.001+08:00

hmm.. someting to onder abt...

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

p.s: i lov u jeff. get well soon. thank u for the upin n ipin soft toys, handbags and the keychain u bought for me syng. i really2 love it esp the upin ipin! so cuteee

2010-12-25T22:05:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm, well, my dear boyfriend is away on 3 days holiday trip with his family in Batam. I really miss him alot sia. Though he did give me a call now and then, I still feel it's not enough. I need him to be here with him right now. just beside me, hugging and kissing me under the mistletoe... HEE

well, today working was fantabulously awesome, we overreached the target by 2k! we made about 6.4k, highest record so far! awesome! well jimmy hit the record of forgetting to lock the cupboard again. nayahahahaha.

plus im really elated cause my family came over to Sentosa and I gave them a free ride plus free 3 photos. nyahaa. i love my family. They were really happy especially my mum!

and im working tomorrow all the way till tues.

p.s: come back early will you. i really miss u jeff. hopefully the wind will bring over my love to u! mmmwahhhhh

2010-12-18T01:44:00.001+08:00

WHY IS THAT I ONLY LOVE U ?

IT'S SIMPLE,
COS NO ONE CAN LOVE ME THE WAY YOU LOVE ME...

I LOVEU JEFERY

2010-12-16T02:03:00.002+08:00

p.s: jefery, i'll always love u regardless of conditions.... i love u too much. thank u for opening my eyes. u welcome me into ur life and brought in so much love into my life. u make me forget all my fears. u erased off all those black memories of my past. u gave me love no one before me could have gieven me. it feels like ive known u for so lng. i'll treasure u. i wont jeorpadize ur love. this is my promise to u. insyaallah. u've changed me in many ways. n i love the way u love me.

2010-12-12T02:09:00.002+08:00

(part 1)

dear jefery,

ii need u to know
that no matter how and when the time's gonna pass by
ii will always love u

ii will always think of you
think of how ur irritating jokes
never fail to make me burst into a chain of laughter
ii will always think of the sheepish smile of yours whenever i ask u to smile

ii will always think of how u like to play with my armpit
haha
but ii will always brush ur hands aside
how u like to keep on smelling me
when u know u cant smell at all
hahahha

ur my hero
ur my rainbow
ur my sun
ur my stars
ur the wind
ur meant the world to me

2010-11-29T02:54:00.005+08:00

oh yeah and so my lil bro's circumsize ceremony went off really well....

Hehe, I am so happy cos I got to see my cousin Insyirah, alas.! she;s sooo cute and adorable. love her. im really sad cos Hakimi n Ryan(my other cousins) were not there. hmm, nvm. i feel so proud cos im the eledest granchild paternally n maternally. sooo all of them have to call me kakak. nayahaaha. bought for Iwan 3 Upin dan Ipin comics. i m proud of him!

and B came over to my house. My gosh, he loooks sooo damn handsome! hahaha. so charming.... i looiikkkeee,,, B was nervous at first but then my parens were ok with him! hehehe. My nenek said his nose is mancung! hehehe. sayang nenek. i miss my grandma so much.

and so here r some of my majlis pertunangan (engagement) pics, ooops i mean majlis berkhatan adekku Iwan: hehe

dia nervous. haha

thanks b for the butiful baju kurong u bought for me. love u

happy 1 mth

I wanna be w u now n forever

almost ready!

me n my lOvely sis-NURUL!

FEAT NURUL @ HUDALICIOUS

My adorabl cousin- INSYIRAH!

p.s i love him so much! thank u for everything sayang. n hppy 1 mth(27th). i'll love u till the end. insyaallah

2010-11-16T03:55:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOSHHHH!!

i miss my dear danny aka jeff sooo muchhhhh.......

i love everything abt him esp when he's in towel. nyahhahaha. no doubt, he has a great voice but he sounded the best when he just woke up.... sexy bangetttt.... hehehe. erkkk.... geram geram geram....
oooh yeah hidungnya juga.... geram.. mancung bangetttt... ye i au sayang ianya suau pinjaman. hahahah.
thanks for fetching me from work sayang.....

but one thing i dislike abou him when he criticized my taufik batisah an merah band like there's no tomorrow. whatever ok. ur words wont affect my liking for them. hehehe

n like fuck, pay has yet to come in. ccb, nabey, kanina. . . my plans to go for eyebrow threading, buy new mp4, bla bla bla, all go down the drain sia!

But luckily B was there to soothe me. hehehe. sayng kau lah!!!!!!!!

2010-11-13T03:52:00.003+08:00

haiz......

b went off to kl yesterday for his performance. n damn, i miss him freaking much. my hp's soooooo damn quiet cos usually he'll always text me n call me to say how much he loves n misses him.

i really hope ur doing fine syng.

i just want u to know that i love u damn much n i too, will never stop thinking of you.

well, working was a breeze today. after that lepak with fai n atiqah. went to eat at jalan kayu. then chilled for while at yishun dam. after which met another of our 2 friends, kevin n his gf. then had a drink at al azhar n lepak for while at their ngee ann poly hostel. reached home around 3 plus am.

haiz working later at 8.30. i miss u so much jeffrey. i really do.. come back soon..... :'(

this song is for u sayang

2010-11-12T01:37:00.003+08:00

Following are the pics of our chalet outing plus "local concert" outing.. hahaha

everytime b makes fun of my fave local artist, i'll take five from him! hahaha. B introduced the monkey as taufik batisah. grrr

camwhoring in the car

U're the best ting i ever knew i needed

chalet outing. r10 is the room

i keep craing for prata cheese mushroom again! all thanks to b

just reached chalet

ferris wheel ride. our matching couple red colour shirt b bought for me plus a matching bracelet .

b exaggerated that the ride was adrenaline pumping. he even pretended to vomit.

i want to be always by ur side

B, thank you for the love u've given me. i really appreciate it loads. i promise my love is only for u.

2010-11-07T04:55:00.002+08:00

Like yesterday, time really pass by soooo slowly at work. boring. im almost broke. devastated. B has helped me alot. he kept on feeding me! i swear i'll become fat soon if he kept on feeding me! hahahaha. thanks b for sending and fetching me to n fro. appreciate it so much.

petang, malam, tengah malam, pagi. he never fail to see me! love him so much.

andai aku diberi suatu kesempatan, inginku memetik 9 bintang yang paling indah di langit lalu akanku berikan kesemuanya untukmu sayang. kerana cinta yang kau berikan seindah bintang di langkasa. setinggi langit yang ketujuh. bercahaya bagaikan sang suria yang menerangi alam semesta. kaulah yang terawal. kau jua yang terakhir. tiada dua atau tiga. hanya namamu yang mampu ku ukir dalam hati ini. jeff, aisyah sayangkan jeff untuk selamanya.

p.s; b cakap kiter tengok monyet2 nex wed. whatever. taufik, aliff aziz, hady mirza, n esp MERAH BAND bukan monyet2 ok sayang!!!!!

2010-11-06T04:13:00.002+08:00

Today is a damn tiring day. i wonder why. had to work on a holiday while b was at m'sia the whole day. i miss him like crazy. life seems so mundane, bleak n lonely without him by my side.

......But B met me just now!! yeay!! we had supper. B, as usual will order prata mushroom with cheese n kept on offering me abit cos he knows i love prata mushroom cheese(thanks to b). hahahaha. as for me, biaserlah kan, always heavier than B; maggi goreng. B ordered vanilla milkshake/ice blended n complained that the drink made him really lethargic. (kononnya penat lah kan. tak berdaya.... he claimed he knows himself better lagi... tapi.... heheehehe. wallahuallam. tak nak sebot. hahahhahahahha)

god, i really love him. kau lindungilah dia ya allah. kau berikan dia kebahagiaan. andaikata diri ku ini ada menyakitinya, kau hukumilah aku. kerana aku benar-benar mencintainya dan tak ingin kehilangannya. jeff, kau amat bererti dalam hidupu. =))

salam sayang salam rindu
aisyah

p/s: lagu ini khas untukmu sayang;

2010-11-05T03:42:00.002+08:00

terasa indahnya dunia ini
pabila diri dicintai dengan sepenuh hati
dikau mengisi ruang hati ini
dengan madah kata-kata cinta yang tiada terperi

namun itu semua bukan setakat kata-kata
dikau buktikan dengan kasih sayang yang tiada terduga
maafkan daku sayang jika tak dapat aku membalas
dengan kasih sayang sehebat sebegitu rupa
kerana cintamu tiada tandingannya

setiap lafazan hati dan bibirmu
mampu mengukir senyuman pada bibirku
indahnya pabila berada di dalam dakapanmu
terasa bagaikan aku berada di syurga dunia

hadirnya dirimu bagai sebuah pelita
yang menerangi liku-liku hidupku yang gelap gelita
hadirnya dirimu
buat aku mengerti erti perasaan cemburu
kecil hati
rindu
cinta
sayang...

sayang
aku bersyukur kerana tuhan ketemukanku dengan dirimu
aku berjanji
setiap cinta yang kau berikan padaku
akan kubalas dengan
kebahagiaan buat selamanya
kesetiaan
kejujuran
ketulusan dan keikhlasan hati
akan ku terus menyayangimu hingga ke akhir hayat nanti
akan ku berikan cinta yang tiada akhirnya'

sayang
aku ingin kau tahu
jika memang bukan suratan takdir untuk kita bersama
aku akan doakan kebahagiaan buat dikau dan si dia
kerana aku bahagia bila engkau bahagia..

jeff, i love u

p.s: thnk u for meeting me at abt 1am. i love u. i miss u jeff@danny

2010-11-04T01:24:00.002+08:00

Just got back from chalet with dear future hubby yesterday. hahahaha. future hubby eh? cannot carry..... hehhehe

Boy, I feel so lethargic but I really enjoyed my 2 days with him! We bbq, karaoked, even tried the so called "adrenaline pumping ferris wheel" at the ehub. B exaggerated. He pretended to vomit and said it was a damn scary ride. I laughed my heart out looking at his expression! hahahahaha.

So here's how the itenary goes;

B was supposed to meet me at 1pm but he was late and he needs to send his mom. so while waiting, I had a simple lunch. B sedeh cos i makan sorang2. hahaha. hungry what.

close to 3pm, B finally reached ! went to have lunch at al kafe (however it is spelt). Im so addicted to prata cheese mushroom all thanks to b! hahah. then off to chalet.

Checked in . our room was r10. double story room. B membebel sorang2 cos he thought it was a single room. hahahha. salin baju. lepak2 jap. watched cucuku sayang. then off to take the ferris wheel ride. Shopped for bbq stuffs. we bought fish, fish cake, hotdogs, prawns, chciken wings n some marination sauce bla bla bla.

so back to our room, i marinated the stuffs. then we showered and off to karaoke with the couple matching shirts we bought from giordano. so sweet of him. we even bought the same bracelet. haha. i just love him so damn much. our karaoke session was fantabulously awesome, but B always make fun of me. We finished the session with duets. bila dah warm up, kita nyanyi "bila rindu" by fuad rahman n mira. B suara sedap.. TAUFIQ PON KALAH! hahhahahaha

Lepas tu kiter beli nasi lemak. n back at the room, we started the bbq . B toook a very long time to really start the fire. bakar punyer bakar, skali ujan lak. the marination tasted nice but the chicken wings mcm tak brape masak cos B lah ni tak tau start api btol2. hahahhaha. the fish taste great (tengoklah saper yg marinate). Lepa dah makan. dah mandi(b look sexy in his draped towels! really! geram tgk), i forced him to sleep. n lights out.

woke up in the morning in his arms. felt so warm n safe in his arms. wish i cud always wake up w him by my side every morning....

wento to eat at changi. b makan roti je mcm biaser. aku je makan heavy2. hahaha. n bandung pahit. yuck! like really pahit!!!!!

after that kiter balek. so tiring.

but tadi jupe lagi cos aku rindukan dia sgt. hahhaha

b.. thank u so much for everything u've done for me. we may be new, but i already feel macam kiter dah lama gitu. ntah lah kenape. ur just too special to be described. i dont wanna lose u. i am afraid of losing someone i really love again. ur my soul. ur my lifemate, insyaallah. thank u. its been a rly ong time since i felt so happy being with someone.

2010-10-31T05:32:00.001+08:00

damn, i wanna see him again. really2 love him. he's planning to get a chalet for both of us nex week. something different.. bust importantly, im rly happy whenever i m with him. i love him so much.

2010-10-28T23:47:00.009+08:00

my fave pic of all. pic perfect

u'll always be on top of every man that ive known melainkan adek2 ku dan ayahku. hehehehe

senyum... hahahha

berbual dengan member2 lama tentang eknomi yang kian merosot

dia kata "walau ke mulot singa sekalipon dia sanggup terjon dengan ku" . tolong eh, i tknk mai dlm mulot singa k

u make me smile

pic perfect. sengaja ku post one mor time. tgk lah photographer dia

actress lord of the ring4

aku lagi gemok

he looks great in here but me? haiz... dahlah nmpk gemok. leher takder. siap merlion pat atas kepala lagi. ape punyer photographer uh dek ni

jatoh aku tgk gmbr ni.

i love u b, always

keberanianku di tanah perkuburan. siap senyum lagi

'apa kau buat di sini. pergi sana kau sana main musik!"

evertime im w u, it feels as if there's fireworks sparkling in my heart

pancut jgn tk pancut. nyeheheh

i love u

free ride

haus. singgah kopitiam jap

i nak condo atau bungallow lah syng. rumah gambar buatpe?

so, on 27th oct 2010, u r mine n im urs... ehehhehe. i love u so much. n i love the way u hugged me so tight the first time i saw u at night under the rain, in the middle of the road, rite beside your car... hahahaha. 3 am. u said those 3 words to me(i love u) on the phone tho i was just in front of u hahaha cos u were sooo scared. ahahhahahah. sweet. love u soooo much...... i promise i wont sia2kan cinta u...

2010-10-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

to the gal whom i thought was a best friend of my life:

i don't mind losing a friend like u cos to me ur nothing as compared to me. nothing. ur just like a piece of unseen dirt to me.

to the guy who had hurt me a yr plus back:

i dont love u like i did yesterday

to u:

i miss u. i need u now.

2010-10-22T04:56:00.005+08:00

It's been a really long time since i updated my blog. been busy with this ever manic roller coaster ride life. Life has been kinda smooth lately. Leisure time is rather being spent with closed friends and family. Getting used to work life that I don't feel the tiredness anymore. I miss school tho.

plus i fall in love with someone. age doesnt matter now. heart matters now. and i miss him

sumpah ni gmbr mcm amy search tapi gelap punyer version. hahhhaha

2010-08-23T02:20:00.001+08:00

Hmm. . .

3 days after my bdae . .

im 20. . .

im lonely. . .

im fasting. . .

im bored. k mepek. daa

p.s: i miss u

2010-07-27T19:55:00.002+08:00

Gosh, honestly, im actually sick and tired of all these lies and drama mamas i've put myself into all juct because i wanna make myself feel assured that i've actually gotten over tis fucking annoying guy by the name of mizi! Phew. there ive said it! Damn him. Damn the 2 years i've wasted with him. All along for freaking 2 years, 24mths, 730 days, Ive been processing in my mind and heart that I love him and that he loves me as much and that we'll be living happily ever after together forever and ever. But, yeah, we broke off. Oh boy, I was devastated. Extremely, humongously, infinitely heartbroken that I just feel the need of screaming out loud to the world that I can live without him, that my e[go and pride is way larger than my feelings for him. And so, I began dating many guys. Pouring my leftover heart and soul for them.

People often ask me, why those drama mama gal? Y keep on changing partners like flipping pages in a book? Why not just stay single cos maybe, it'll keep me happier. Trust me. I did many things. I tried spending time with my family. I stayed single for few months. I spent time with my friends. I worked. I went to school. I stayed at home and be a good girl. I tried my best. Thing is, Im not you or her. Im not anyone of them or you. Im me. I cant be what u guys want me to be even when I know u guys are just helping. And I did try helping myself so hard for the entire year but what can I do, if deep beyond my heart, he will always be the one i love the most. I might love Herman so much. I might miss Chuck so much. or any other guys but in my heart is this annoying guy whom I called "abang".

Do you know how irritating it feels whenever Im with someone else or alone, whenever i wanna say i love u or i miss u to someone else, in my mind, his name appeared first, follows by the other man.

Do you know how U wush I could unwind the time and prevent from hurting him ever but I know I cant. He will never love me again. He will never come back. I will never get to hear him calling me "ibu" again. I will never get to be bullied by him again. I can never laugh or cry with him like we used to again.

I kept on saying Ily to many people cause I thought Im so over him and now Im actually hooked to it. It's like a drug; you know it's harmful and addictive but at the sam etime it helps you to calm down and in the end, it becomes a habbit.

Yes, I know Herman loves me so much and I love him so much as well but I always ask myself, wud my life be better if i was still with mizi? I cud have been with him for 3 years by now. I would be happily and comfortably sleeping in his arms and waking up to see him by my side right now?

Fuck it. Can someone who is able to feel me make him disappear from my mind and heart forever! Bei it God or whoever else, please make me forget him completely, not even abit left. Cause it's annoyingand I don;t wanna hurt the man whom I am with right now.

Can someone hear me?

2010-07-26T03:50:00.003+08:00

haiz. why must Chuck go away now. Can I don;t let him go? Can he dont let me go? Can he dont go. I do love Herman but I love Chuck more. it's just that i came to a point where i'd rather be with the one who loves me more than i do. Love is so complicated. Why must Chuck comes into my life in the first place. Why? He was the first guy ever that Ive given my all to after Mizi. And now, He's gone. Why must he go so far away. Why cant he stay. Im gonna miss him. I know he'll come back again. Afterall this is his home.

Went to the beach with my lil bro, Iwan and my best friend, Faizal. Boy, we had so much fun and laughter. Enjoyed my day so much. Afterwhich, I caught a glimpse of my bf Herman at Sinaran. He asked me to comment on him wearing uniform. Ugh. hahaha. whatever. but ive got to admit he sure look good in it. *drools. i love him.

2010-07-21T22:41:00.002+08:00

Clubbing cum chilling at Timbre/Zirca/Rebel with the Sky Tower peeps was fantabulously fun. Let's club again next wed! Ladies nite mania babey! plus im gonna miss working with both Xavier and SHeila.
All the best for ur future endeavours.

2010-07-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

woah. it's been quite some time since i updated my blog.

you know what. yeah i patched up with Herman. hehehe. he's so sweet lah. After all these years, he has shown me he really loves me. and he did wait for me all these years. I love u Herman. Tho I dun deny I still do think about Chuck. Well, I came to a stage where i'd rather be with the one who really loves and treasure me than with someone whom i love alot but all I have to feel is nothing but pain.

K enuf of this complicated love story of mine. Hopefully this r'ship with Herman will last. Insyaallah

Been working for at least 5 days straights every week. Kinda tired but Im so used to it. Ever since Sheila quit Digi, I have been missing her like hell but well, we still do meet up now and then. I'm stuck between staying at Digi and the offers I have been getting from other sites. Well, th eother sites promise better pay but the bond that I shared with the Digi family makes me reluctant to leave. Idk lah. seriously.

And i miss school alot. I miss kamil. i miss eddy. i miss lionel. i miss rynn. i miss rp. oh well.

and i hate my mum.

2010-07-08T00:01:00.002+08:00

Hey... Finallay babey... im going to work tomorrow! wuhoo. after a month, stuck at home. all i ever did was nothing but sleep, eat, overnights w him and chilling w friends. nothing else. so unreproductive, I am fully aware of it. but what can i do. Not working means no money. No money equals to no enjoy. no clubs. Boring....

Well. it's ok cos tomorrow im in the morn shift babey w sheila and jimmY! wuhoo. plus, ive got to go to bbdc for lesson tomorrow. geez.

Well, I do miss Chuck alot. I dont wanna miss him. I wanna miss mizi. i miss the feeling of missing mizi. the feeling of loving mizi. But now I cant, i love chuck but he hurts me soo bad. haiz. I shouldnt have let him go. but then again he lied to me umpteen times. haiz. idk.

mizi, if u ever read this, go back to nurul yeah. she needs u. tho i dont deny i felt a teeny weeny bits of jealousy.

im not gonna lie. i still have feelings for u mizi. tho not entirely 100% but it's still there. never change.

but i wanna be with chuck. i hate him. ergh

wtv. life is now about nothing else but moneyyyy babeyyyy

2010-07-03T20:37:00.002+08:00

geram.. geram sungguh aku....

im boiling. im infuriated with extreme frustration. i fucking hate my parents sia. i dont understand what they want sia. i stayed at home the whole freaking day! i cleaned the house! i cleaned the kitchen. scrub the tiles. wipe the oven and stove. do the dishes. do the laundry. throw away the garbage. hang the washed clothes to dry. swept the freaking hall n balcony floor. layid carpet nicely on the floor. arrange the tables and chairs. cleaned the bedroom (tho my bedroom is always tidy.). Bottomline is I stayed at home and they still nagged at me! eh aku nak nyanyi sorang2 ker. nak melalak sorang2 ke, aku punyer suker ah!

dah bagus siak dapat anak macam aku. bukan kaki minum. kaki dadah. kaki main. kaki gangster. tau solat. belaja2, belajar jugak. tau kemas umah. ccb. knn.

they want me to understand them, they also have to understand me lah! ccb. bukannyer aku keluar kan.? aku stakat nyanyi sorang2 dalam bilek. tak susahkan kau per? bodoh punyer orang. penat2 aku kemas, orang lain nanti yang dapat nama. ccb. aku mati pon bagus. diorang mati lagi bagos. irritating. annoying.

duduk umah kene bising. keluar kene bising. puas ati takyah balek jer. ccb. knn. fucking hate them to the core lah sia.

bf pulak (ex bf ke aper ke. wtv ah) mcm sial. bodoh. insensitive towards other people's feelings but expect others to be sensitive to his. same jugak macam parents aku. perangai siial. anyone born earlier than 1990 is all sial. we 90s kids shall take over the world one day stupid old people.

fucking hate old people to the max man.! ya, i know im gonna turn old some day! but im not gonna be like those old people. ccb. knn.

2010-07-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

Friends forever **loves

Nowadays i feel that life sucks so much. life's meaningless without money. my mum sucks. my boyfriend sucks. my sister sucks. ex boyfriends sucks. everyone sucks! i only love my friends. my close friends.

life at home is so boring. and i have to be stucked inside my bedroom all day long. fucking bored and dumb. stupid people come to my place till late morning. sucks. ccb. knn.

2010-06-27T06:04:00.002+08:00

meet Grumpy bear(me) and Scrumpy (Chuck)

p.s: when mistrust comes in, love goes out.

the key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they are not, we cry. .

2010-06-09T06:31:00.003+08:00

ok guys. life has been kinda mundane lately. work so far has been so-so but i'm loving the crowd; not as congested as few weeks back. i fucking need more cash man, i mean really way alot of cash to support my ever mundane life. i seriously need to enjoy soon man. go for a holiday maybe with sheila.

well, met b just now. we got back together. we broke umpteen tiimes, i dun even noe when's the last time we broke off. hahaha. i swear to god that he's damn bloody annoying but deep in my heart i know he loves me alot and i cant deny tt i love him so much too.

meeting him later at 10am. yuhoo!

and oh ya, i miss school so much. diploma, here i come.

saw pics of mizi w his gf. kinda hurt actually. he was mine a year plus back. i call him abang. he calls me ibu. we were like siblings. we were like best buddies. but now, we're nothing. not even friends. it's kinda sad. i mean i dun love him anymore. i love my bf Chuck lah tho he's so like cibai, like duh. i just miss mizi's stupid jokes, irritating teasings, his cheeky smile, his dumb hair, his cute temper, his random manjaness, his hammer head shark eyes, his boyaness. haha. i miss everthing abt him. i miss eating butterscotch ice cream w him. i miss playing scrabble w him. i miss singing w him n tease each other abt our voices. i miss drawing stupid pics w him. i miss him. oh well.

p.s: chuck baby, wo ai ni. let's camwhore tomorrow

2010-05-31T03:07:00.002+08:00

someone just need to motivate me man. nowadays im just too lazy to go to work man. i cant stand it lah. bf's been giving me trouble. asek2 merajok. but i know he really loves me so much. im sorry lah b. silence doesnt mean i dun gve a shit about u. it's just that im too lazy to think about such small matters cos apparently there are many better things to think about. plus, paranoia will lead to nowhere.

all i know is, if u stay, then i wont go. even if u go, i;ll always be dere n i dun care. cos always, i know, i still love u the same.

well, overnyte with b on sat. afterwhich, i paitao work and had lunch w b at plaza sing. we ate briyani. yum2. b tak abes2. syeok sendiri. then we fought. dea nak balek. baleklah. tak heran pon. hahhaha

malamnyer, ku juper nurul, adekku. and blanja her kfc.

what a sleepy sunday.

dun feel like going to work tomorrow. hur2

i love u chuck

2010-05-26T18:11:00.002+08:00

always
the whole way thru
i'll stay true

caling ur name out
if u cud hear me now
words i have never said so loud
the choice that wud never be without

i'll be with u always always
know that all these words are
know that i can feel something i never thought was real
i'll be with u always always
know that all these words are true

if u stay then i wont go
if u go, i'll always be there
i don't care

all i know if u stay then i won't go
if u go, i'll always be there
i'll be there, i dun care, i dun carecos always, i know

i love u so much chuck.
thank u for dedicating tis song to me

2010-05-16T00:39:00.002+08:00

13thmay10

sayang kau lah giler

hahaha

met him just now n boy was i sooooooo happy...... bloody cute lah. hahaha. cant wait to meet him again later on! wanna catch a flick!

2010-05-15T02:39:00.001+08:00

omg i really miss my bf alot. cant wait to meet him later. i love u. i love u so much. thank god i met u! i'll post his pic soon guys.

2010-05-14T00:52:00.002+08:00

p.s:kiz loves u chuck!

2010-05-08T01:59:00.002+08:00

dear god.

i swear im really sad n disappointed, i just feel like running away from this life. people are just full of excuses. they dont mean what they said. i swear i wud never trust a man's word. they are full of deception and catch to it. god, please make me happy with or without a man. if i were to be in a r'ship, please make it lasting. i dun care if he's ugly or cute, as long as he has a sincere n honest heart.

maybe i shud just flirt around. enjoy my youth life. faizal was n is not my bf. i dun regard him as one. he's just some other guy i fling around with. that ring he gave me, i shud have just thrown in into the bin instead of putting it in his pocket. i still kept the roses tho. i will throw it away from 4th floor. my heart feels like it's being thrown from 100th floor lah. fucking cb knn.

fuck lah. watever.

i miss fido tho.

p.s: faizal is shit. congrats for successfully making me to hate u.

2010-05-04T00:33:00.002+08:00

frustrated cos pay was postponed till 5th may, wtf sia. hell to the management!

plus i have to extend till 7 plus today sia! worked freaking 10 hrs today! abd the weather's not helping at all. so many "bypassing dark clouds" today (if u guys know what i mean..). bloody rude and stuck up people deserve no special attention from me! the weather's so fcuking scorching and humid to the max! my body's is soo freaking s ticky lah. after that, waited for Sheila till closing. lepak with her. had briyani for dinner. we were soo lethargic, we kept on laughing even over small little things! haha. i love her man! let's go out together soon!

she kept on teasing me about faizal requesting for my stud to scratch his little hole on his tragus! hahahaha, so funee. and in return, i teased her about syafa'at;s body odour. hahaha. i swear we were the nosiest sia in the bus. i love her man!

p.s: i love u faizal.

2010-05-02T17:25:00.003+08:00

what a boring lazy sunday, today is... slept late, woke up late, and im gonna eat late as well.. cleaned my bedroom. have to do the laundry after this. plus working in the morning tomorrow w zul, the track pants guy. hahaha.

wanna ask apit out ah. eat dinner again w him.

p.s: i love u faizal

2010-05-02T04:03:00.003+08:00

it was yet another average working day till it reached night. my fellow colleagues and i took the luge ride down after work. it was hillarious to see my gfs making an idiot out of themselves. i love u gfs. thank u for being dere w me whenever i need u girls the most.

and im frustrated cos pay has yet to come. all my plans w my gfs were ruined down the drain. we planned to club lah, karaoke lah, jb lah yadayada but too bad... hopefully pay comes in by Fri or else i really will turn into a maniac.

i guess it's time for me to let him go. i dun wan to be clapping w one hand. i dun wan to look desperate. i shud be happy now that im a free stallion, free to roam in the wild. yes, as much as i love him and am jealous whenever girls commented on his fb and tagged (cousins, fam or friends, how am i suppose to know right?). as much as i always have the urge to type his name either on fb or tagged. as much as i never fail to view his and our photos each time i tucked in to bed. as much as i am always wondering what is it that he wants ffrom me, whether he still loves me or not.. I have to answer the wake up call and face it w a willing heart.

tmrw's off day! yipee

p.s : i love u faizal

MyHotComments

2010-05-01T02:11:00.002+08:00

hmm.. well, work has been the reason for the lack of entries. pay was postponed, again. sux. boys are so last summer. im getting sick n tired of having to understand people when the didnt understand me. it's gonna be closed to 2 mths since i became single. enjoying every single bits of it tho at times, secretly, i do wish Faizal is mine once again. ah. let him be. in his eyes, im solely in the wrong position. in his eyes, this isnt true love. well at least, that's what he had said to me. those piercing-to-the-heart words he told me last week still haunts me, now and then. Luckily, ive my colleagues who gave me their undying and utmost moral support. without them, life wud be so mundane.

i wish i cud lie but i cudnt. truth hurts and yes i still do love him. and ever since monday, i stop dating cos previously i thought by doing so, it'll make me get over him. fact is, it didnt work quite well for me. i was hoping to like them as easy as clicking the "like" button on facebook but fuck it, it's faizal i keep on thinking about. why cant god give a reformat button for humans cos only then, can i erase him off from my mind.

ah, chuck it. the more im gonna rant on about this useless info, the more im gonna be miss him. he doesnt love me. first he too wanted to leave me. then, he rarely contacted w me. he wasnt there when i need him the most. and after so long since we last met, i thot, he wants me back or whisper sweet nothings to me, skali he came all the way to my place just to say his feelings towards me have changed. he realised that this isnt true love and bla bla bla. i dun think he's dumb. some things are better left unsaid and left as it is. i wud like to call this, "unnecessary", instead of "sincere". it's like what sheila said "tsunami". takder angin tkder aper, tibe2 datang teurs bunuh sumer orang.

oh well, love cant be forced.

p.s: i m still waiting. i love u. i miss u

2010-04-25T15:29:00.002+08:00

imma promise myself not be reminded of faizal anymore, not to miss him, love him or care for him. imma change my no. my blog url. my email address. my facebook name.

but i cant.....

cos i still love him.

2010-04-25T00:41:00.002+08:00

i know tis sounds crazy but im getting engaged w my long time flame... really... haha... he proposed me. we shall see how. ive yet to give him my ans.

2010-04-24T05:15:00.002+08:00

yes u mean alot to me. u mean the world to me. u mean everything to me. u r so meaningful in my life that when u said all those things to em, it crushed my heart like hell. i wish we cud still be together. i might sound despo but i'll love u the same no matter what. hauz. oh wells.

2010-04-23T00:37:00.003+08:00

situation 1: "U Said u love me but u don't want to be with me. u agreed to let me go when i was hoping u wud never give up. u stayed silent. u rarely contacted me to check on me whether i was doing fine or not? whether i was happy or sad.? whether i miss u like mad? whether i need u so much on certain days? u were so busy, u couldn't even send me a simple msg."

Situation 2: " u said u love me. i let u go cos i cudnt spend time with u. (this means i want u to go and seek love, care and attention from other guys cos i cudnt give u the time and attention that u craved for). But i asked u to wait for me(yet i stayed silent cos i was very busy). and u met other guys."

which is more terok. ok maybe we shud put it this way: "\which is more sensible. situation 1 or situation 2? the boy who stayed silent and pops up only once in a blue moon. he's soo busy with almost everything. he sisnt meet other girls cos circumstances dont pernit him so (wll, he's in camp wat? how to date other girls?). (situation 2) or the dejected girl who doesnt want to be a desperate and feels that she has her life of her own, now that she's single .the reason y she did so is cos she's confused whether he cares and love for her cos he didnt show it. apparently, she's not a mystic or a fortune teller. she cant read minds. is it wrong if she meet other guys cos she's oh-so-lonely and she's single. u tell me.

p.s: well apparently, she still loves him so much. cos if not, she wont cry for him and she's still single up till now, which is really amazing! she's free. and he's free. if he fcuking love her, fcuking take her back and she will remain really faithful towards him.

2010-04-22T01:04:00.002+08:00

eeee... no matter what i do. how hard i tried, at the end of the day, i still think of u. and that i miss u. and that i wish u were here with me. but ur so far far away from me. and u didnt show to me tt u still care n love me. u deleted my comment when i said i love u and i deleted u away from fb. so what if im fcuking childish, ive feelings just like u and the rest. im sorry if i had said or done anything wrong. it was unintentionable.

ok let's drop this oh-so-mushy issue. bottomline is i fcuking love faizal.

working has been sooo super mendaks for the past 2 days. crowd for the whole day was as low as 700 people as compared to other days where it's always not lesser than 1000 people. and the weather was soo scary. so scorching at one moment and the next moment, the sky was blanketed with destructing lightnings and thunders. tho suspensions became a frequent routine nowadays, I still feel soo lethargic and I don't know why. I just feel so lazy and I miss my bed even more than I miss Faizal. seriously.

plus i hate office politics. so dumb and wasting of my precious time!

pay day, when will u arrive? I miss u sia. come faster and I promise to u(my pay) that I shall spend u even more wisely than last month.

p.s: he loves me. he loves me not. maybe he does not. oh wait, hopefully he still does just like how his mum is still fatter than mine. perhaps a little(kisses faizal on his 4head. XOXO. MWAH)

2010-04-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

dear God, I am really2 sad and disappointed. dear god, why is loving someone so difficult? He said he loves me but he doesnt want me. Dear god, what am i suppose to do? he told me to wait for him but he was never there. He said he loves me but he never shows it? What am i suppose to do god.? I have feelings of my own. I yearn to be loved and cared for. I dun care if he's millions miles away from me as long as he never gives up and stays thruout this r'ship thru thick and thin.

First reason was his family, and cos i love him so much, I give in and truly understand him cos fam comes first after all. even if he remained quiet for few days, even when I felt as if I was invicible and that being his gf, I was always the last to know everything, I remained quiet and gave in. 2nd was his best friend, as all of u know I am someone who's easily jealous and doesnt like my bf to go out with other girl, but in my r'ship w him, I gave in and doesnt mind at all. But again, whenever he's w her, he barely smsed or called me. and when i went out w my male bestfriend, it's like I Had done something so sinful and illegal. And again, I remained quiet and gave in. And now, now that he lets me go due to his family, and whatever fucking shitty reasons he gave me, he still got the gut to ask me wait for him. And I waited but what he did was to remain quiet again. I felt as if Im a piece of toy; plays with it when he needs it and throws it away when he had plentiful of fun. This time, his excuse was that he's busy with his work.

it's all about him. Every single thing that he did has always got to be right and I was left alone all by myself to swallow everything. I waited and waited until I received a wake up call. How much time longer I must be like this? always give in. what about my feelings? Y must I cryy for him every single night and look at our pics whenever I miss him? I yearned to be loved and every humans deserve the kind of attention that they wish to have.

things wud have been different if we were still together. cos if it doesnt, he shouldnt have make the first move to take me as his gf in the first place.

so what if i hold othe people hands and kiss them. Im single.

so what if u cant call or sms to check on me. you're very busy with ur (first, family, second work and third best friend).

if u said u love me yet you cant even be bothered to make an effort to reach out for me (it's just a call away. tipulah klau satu sms pon tak boleh. ingat aku ni budak2? i have ex bfs who r police as well. even the president is not as busy as you.), then i can also hold other people's hands yet i say i love u. the situations might vary but the implications are the same.

everything's about u, ur fam, ur work, ur friends, m i right? then go to them if u wanna seek for love. dun go to me.

and yes i love u. i fucking love u. cos i want u bcak even when u dont want me bcak. even when im really busy, i wud spent a few secs to sms u. i might date many people but u has always been my exception cos if not, i wud be attached w someone else right now. friends of mine know that im not the sort who wud remain single for more than a week.

and i if dont love u, i wont write about u. I wont cry for u that night when u met me. I dun usually cry in front of others. and i wudnt give in to ur lifestyles even when i disagreed with them.

but bah. whatever, it's pointless now. cos u dun care. tell me which part of ur actions show that u care..?? nay, i cant think of any.

SO FROM NOW ONWARDS, I WILL REALLY LET U GO N IMMA MOVE ON AND UR FREE TO DO WHATEVER U WANT AND I WONT BE SAD AND CRYING FOR U WHENEVER I MISS U COS IT MAKES MY HEART SORES ALOT!

2010-04-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

well, life has been smooth for me. im loving every second of it!

just got to know this guy named reza. we shared many2 common things together! same hometown. same music preference. same mp4. same work place. wow! co-incident! haha. and he;s really sweet.. that 2 dates were simple yet soo sweet... and i feel soo safe w him around.

and then came this guy called Haziq. We just met yesterday. I dunno y but before we met, i always anticipate his call. we talked thruout the night! we disturbed each other. and his bdae falls 2 days before mine! another co incidence! we watched movie yest. thruout the movie i was really hoping he wud hug me! seriously. hahaha. i didnt want to go home seh when i was w him. end up we hugged n kissed and he held my hands home. sweet or what!

well, it's nice being single cos u're given the privileges to date around but it sucks cos at the end of the day, u know tt u cant lie to urself. u know that u still love and need him. and u only did all that cos u were so lonely and u were hoping that u cud move on so that u wont trouble and bother his life anymore. i hate u faizal but i cant hate u as much as i love u.

2010-04-17T13:58:00.001+08:00

dear faizal:

days may go by
many people may have passed by
tho ur far away n my actions u might have questioned
i just want u to know ur my only exception

i love u

2010-04-14T01:40:00.004+08:00

woah.. what a long day today! had my mac deluxe breeakfast at 5 plus am today. sayang kau kamil sebab tolong belikan makan. ahhaha. my 2 dlr change ah, dun forget to return me.! hahaha. after that i slept till 1 pm. mandi manda. then makan nasi lemak. terus off ker bp juper sheila jap. ngumpat2. gossip2. take mack my stuffs from her. after that i headed to al junied to fetch my ex, rafi from work! he looks so cute w his long hair. ahahahhaa. and he said i look prettier w long hair. hahahhaa. whatever.

i felt so loved cos he keptt on kissing my 4head. n calls me B when he was talking to me. it felt kinda akward cos im no longer w him but i love it! soo manja! hahahaha. yalah, im soo lonely wo bf so when someone manja2 w me, of cos i felt soo touched. wahahhahaha. he kissed my cheeks. play w my hair... ehehe. suker aku

lepas tu aku turon lot one jumpe kamil lagi. siak tul kamil. kacau2 aku. ahhahaha. then we lepak at his place. chatted w his fans. hahahahaha. then he sent me home. what a long day! phew. and tomorrow im working. sucks. so fast!

n now aku rindukan rafi sak. n he misses me too. i hate him tau. grrrr.

but u know what, somehow i got a crush on tis guy by the name of haziq. hahahhahaa. just a tiny harmless crush

2010-04-13T01:28:00.001+08:00

aisyah rindukan faizal.

2010-04-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

fuck love.

2010-04-08T23:49:00.003+08:00

8th of april n here i am missing faizal again. cant wait to see another day. breathe in a fresher air. talk, laugh n share my feelings with my closed friends. interact with the guests. take pics and sell em. cant wait to acquire new knowledges, experiences and skills. i love tomorrow. i always do.

im so sad my close friend been acting so cold towards me. i feel like im losing a best friend and i wish thing will be normal like usual. haiz. whateverlah. if he feels that
tings gonna be different cos of wat u thot i had said, then im gonna let u go. as long as ur happy, im happy too.

well, working today has been an average day w average guestss sheila.i love my friends. we shud hang out soon sheila. and chill by the treetop at teck whyle lane like we always do. looking forward to our jb trip nex mon.

to who it may concern:

u're my friend and that is true

but the gift was given from me to u

we went thru moments that were both good and bad

even moments that were happy and sad

u supported me when i was in tears

we stuck stuck together when we were in fears

it is really sad tt it had to be this way

but it has reached its very last day

miles away cant keep us apart

cos u'll always be in my heart

i, then feel bad and alot of pain

it feels like i fell from the sky like the rain

tho i still feel that it isnt right

i'll still pray for u every night

it's like u're my fire, a burning light

my dear friend i miss u alot

i still wonder why u were put in that spot

i know that u are in a place much better than when im here

but i'll still be watching u and helping u with all ur fear

someday we'll be together

together u and me, forever

2010-04-08T02:12:00.003+08:00

and here i am crying in my heart again. cos ive been missing faizal so much. n ive been wanting to look in his eyes and tell him i really love him n dun wanna be away from him. and that since the day we were no more together, it got me thinking of the past that is really worthless to dwell about. u know when ur really down w ur current love, u tend to take a peek to the past but then u know u dun love and dun care about the past anymore. it's just a tool to sooth ur lonely heart cos u've been missing the current love so much. thats been happening to me. darn.. i really wanna be in faizal's arms right now. i wonder how long i shud wait? i wonder if he really loves me? i wonder.... n will keep on wondering. being a girl really is sucky.

went to watch movie w apit just now. it was awesomely fun! clash of the titans is really a worthwhile flick to watch!

plus we window shopped vivo city. haha.. we scoured through many clothes outlets. well, a narcissist myself, i tend to look at the mirrors more than the the clothes that the shops offered. well, i hate window shopping what. hahaha. but it was fun w apit. after that, we had dinner at long john before the movie starts. apit kept on taking my sauce! erk! hate him for doing that.

omg, i tend to really feel so happy whenever apit is around, nowadays. wonder y. yes i do care n love for him as best friend but u know, anything is bound to happen. well, let nature takes it own course.

right now, to a guy named faizal, i fcuking love u galah!

hope to seeu soon again like yesterday. touching btol dea turon umah aku stakat nak pass balek hp aku padahal aku yg tinggalkan. hahahaha

happy 2nd mth
well cud have been at least
cheows

2010-04-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

i miss faizal. n i love him. n i wanna meet him now! can i? can? can or not???

2010-04-05T10:53:00.002+08:00

yest cud have been our 3 years together. 04.04.10. sucks rite?

these few days have been a really sucky day except for last fri cos i got to meet dear faizal that i miss alot. we chilled by the beach and he kept on teasing me. hahahaha. then we headed somewhere. at night, we had dinner cum supper at seah im. silly boy, he spilled his curry sauce on the table again! hahahhaha. so funny. and he was so cranky cause the service there wasnt up to his expectations! so fussy, i tell u!

and then came saturday, i had to go to work. and thruout my journey to sentosa, my head felt so heavy! my eyes felt as if they were popping out! and my throat felt like it got blended! but still, i was determined to go to work. nak duit punyer pasal. upon reaching work, tak sampai satu jam, aku takleh angkat, jadi aku balek lah. worst, ive to go home alone! the moment i reached home, I slept till 12 am! and then i woke up feelings so hot! and i kept on vomitting, as if something was stucked in mmy throat! that bad huh?

and the worst of all is, i left my hp in the cab. lucky, faizal was in the cab. he kept for me. but malangnyer tak sempat nak bagi aku balek! sigh. i can only get my hp back latest on sat? sucks rite. and he read all my msges! wth???!! kpo betol. haiz....

plus it cud have been my 3 years ann w mizi. well, cud have been, at least! sucks

2010-03-30T22:57:00.001+08:00

this video really made my day. zomgz mad cute ok!

working tomorrow in the morn and then heading out for sheesha session at 7pm w the digi peeps. wuhoo!

faizal called me and hearing his voice really make me even miss him more. ok lah. ok lah. i shall wait for u to proof to u my undying love towards u, happy? haahhahahaha

2010-03-29T22:27:00.003+08:00

met faizal last sat. we had so much fun. he fetched me from work. spent time together. had late dinner at al azhar cos he was so hungry. reached home at about 2 plus. back homw, i texted him n got so panicked cos he didnt reply me. i dunno y nowadays i tend to get so emotional when it comes to him. i find myself easily jealous, hurt but then i tend to ignore that feelings. mcm malas ah nak layankan sangat. i cant be bothered anymore. if he wans me, he'll come back to me. if not, then fuck it, i dun care. (mcm faham. god, it's so frustrating cos i love him so much even if he's not mine)

been busy w work. i love working so much. i love my sups. i love my colleagues. i love sky tower. they never fail to make me happy. i love them so much. but then again i fucking hate korean tour guides. cb. knn. mad rude. stupid slit eyed motha fucka ugly people.

apa yang dalam otak aku skrng adalah duit. yeah my friends, money... mama mia... while money isnt everything but everything is money! chedebah berfalsafah lak aku ni. keh keh keh...

i miss faizal tho and and him too cos if not bcos of him, i wudnt get myself hurt in the first place...

2010-03-26T00:18:00.003+08:00

dang. im getting fatter siak. need to shed off those fats of mine. my arm dah macam roti prancis (french loaf). fcuking tembam. bulat alr. maybe cos ive been so happy.

i was listening to the song "kiss me" by the cardigans/sixpence none the richer when it got reminded me of him sia. i still remember that night, we were seating by the s'pore river near raffles place. we were seating down on the bench when the live band from the nearby pub was playing that song. n then he asked me to lay on his shoulder n he held my hands. awww.... and then we headed to esplanade to eat tauhu or taufu (that sweet beancurd lah. dunno what that thing is called), soya bean, butterfly fritters n char kuay. hmm.. that was the happiest day of my life ever. ahahhaha. mizi mizi... memories are worth to be cherished.

plus, i miss faizal alot. i love u

haizzz....

2010-03-25T00:21:00.002+08:00

haiz.. i dunno y but at times i would suddenly think of mizi. the happiness and the sadness we shared for 2 years and even the time after time when we were not together. and when i was about to recover from that heart break, again, my heart got broken. this time round dengan insan yang bernama faizal. i still do love him. alot. While the love is still hot like an iron, while i still need faizal, while i was about to heal this broken heart of mine, he too willing to let me go... malang sungguh nasibku. perhaps, the lady luck in my love story is just not there huh? apelah nasib...

how i wish, he would know, that i need him. i need him as a bf. asking me to wait and not be w me as a gf is as good as leaving me, which he promised he would never do. tapi aku lupa, promises are meant to be broken. same goes to rules which are meant to be broken. how i wish he'd know that i dun care if he rarely meet me, as long as im still his gf. despo huh? but i dun think so cos i love him, ALOT.

doesnt mean if i rarely text him back nor ans his calls after that means that i dun love him anymore. it's just that i am afraid of missing him even more should i hear his voice. im afraid that this waiting is futile. yes, i can wait for u but anything can happen.

love doesnt hurt. it's the rejection, being alone and misunderstanding that hurts alot.

dear faizal, wud u take me back? i'll do almost anything for u.

2010-03-24T01:48:00.001+08:00

Heartbreak Quotes

2010-03-24T01:38:00.001+08:00

2010-03-24T01:18:00.001+08:00

p/s: have anyone told you how bad i need u back? u don't know dun u.? so i guess i should just keep myself shut.

2010-03-23T04:53:00.002+08:00

i still do love u.
but i feel that it isn't fair
if the words u said to me back when we were together is true
u'd never agree to leave me
instead u'd stay thru thick and thin with me
faizal, i need u

2010-03-22T23:41:00.001+08:00

2010-03-22T03:11:00.000+08:00

2010-03-21T00:40:00.001+08:00

2010-03-18T01:11:00.002+08:00

No tears doesn't mean i am ok

me smiling doesn't mean im fine

yes doesn't mean i agree to everything

hatred doesnt mean i have no love

distance doesnt mean my heart is far apart

no doesnt mean i disagree to everything

silence doesn't mean im used to it

ignorance doesnt mean im not bothered by it

truth hurts

the ugly truth is that ur words are meaningless

why give up when we can work things out

why did u agree to me when i want u to stop me

why push yourself out when i wanted in

if only this heart of mine is pain resistance

if only i don't easily give away my heart to someone who talks easily

but doesnt fight hard

why is loving someone so difficult

why is it i have to feel pain all over again

i still think it's not fair

everything u said and everything u did just don't matched

i always know that family comes first

but what about my feelings?

what about those promises u gave to me?

apparently i have a heart that can feel pain

i just wish someone would wipe this tears dry

this stupid meaningless ring

this stupid meaningless promises

this stupid meaningless words

i just wish i didnt believe them before.

think before u say.

think before u do.

i still think it's not fair

god pls make me not love him anymore

pls...

cos i cannot hate faizal as much as i love him....

2010-03-16T13:08:00.002+08:00

single n available! wuhoo, i can date my first crush called Galah! yeay..

weirdo

ok lah, nuting new except that im single once again! hahahaha. like duh? u guys were expecting it right? kata aisyah. kua kua kua. k im just saying this to please myself. not that im arrogant ok. i dun care if people want to mock at me, be my guests.

yeay, gonna live my life as a single woman once again, on the count of 1...2...3... GO!

2010-03-14T23:31:00.003+08:00

work is tiring but the friends around me boos my energy! i love them loads.

other than that i've got nothing to say except that im utterly disappointed. if u feel like texting me, be my guest, if not, i cant be bothered. :)

2010-03-07T17:28:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I had so much fun.. as usual every saturday I would meet my bf.. so he picked me up from home. hehe. sweet kan. but he was super duper late, i swear i could go Skudai and come back home while waiting for him. so we board 160 and went to Jb.

Well we had fun. window shopped at city square. we bought double choc frapucino w chocolate chip n whipped cream (my fave!) From starbucks. ate yong tau foo, chicken cutlet rice and pattaya fried rice from the food junction. watched the movie from paris with love. It was an awesome movie! plus john travolta looks so cute and tough lah! bad ass old boy! hahaha

My dear boyfriend was sneezing all the way lah.. geli seh .. hingus dea sumer meleleh2. nasib aku tak kener jangket... ee... then otw back to the immigration ctr, i got my menstruation sia! panic giler. hehehe. He said that when aku nyer prangai mcm sewel n giler2 gitu maknanye azur aku dah dtang. hahaha. merepek je. so on our way home, we kept on citing the "your momma.." joke. it was fcuking hillarious. just admit lah syng that u lost to me k.. hahahha. b sent me home n we lepak for awhile around my house area and we kissed like we never kiss before. it was so passionate and intense. god, i just cant get enuf of this boy! i really love him so much.

i asked him "will he hurt me".

he replied: "yes, of cos i will hurt u, maybe not now but later .. but, i will never leave u"

sweet kan.. hehehehhee

p.s: i love u.. tomorrow working... haiz

2010-03-06T03:34:00.002+08:00

Chalet was a blast but freakishly tiring. i hate hangovers. sucks. i swear i look so ugly. sorry friends. hahaha. plus, i received a good scolding from my bf. im really sorry baby. i know u care for me so much. i love u so much.

yeay, i can finally meet u tomorrow! woohoo! IM SO DAMN EXCITED. i miss u alot seh. each day felt soo long!

p.s: i love my life

2010-03-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

PS... Tmrw chalet

2010-03-03T01:56:00.002+08:00

I dedicate this song to u Faizal... i sayang u... thank u for accepting me the way i am and putting up w my jealousy or tantrums. anything that i'll do, i know i'll always be beautiful to u, without having to put on act or disguise. i love u n i miss u.

well, today is really a heaty day. the extreme scorching weather makes my throat crying for water every second. n it's like screaming in pain. I felt as if, there's a construction work going on in my body system. (so back at home, i put on a wet towel on my forehead n ate panadols. hmm... suddenly, i was reminded of something. oh wells)

can't wait for chalet on thurs.

p.s: can;t wait to meet him on sat! m'sia outing! wuhoo!

2010-03-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

Had to work today. god damn it, aku sumpah aku tak tau aku kener kejer niary... haiz.. terpaksa lah aku travel all the way ke sentosa demi mencari nafkhah yang halal.. chedebah...

working was ok lah. takderlah raser penat sgt. cumer2 org2 nari aku tak brape rapat sgt. nasib ada naz. hehehe. u rock girl. naz leceh sak tad, dah syeok sampai vivo , dea tertinggal wallet pulak pat sky tower. leceh. tapi since dea blanja aku makan, ok lor. hahahaha

.. plus, aku nga sot sekarang! fucking pissed cos gaji belom masok. sialan ah. biler ni nak masok. kepala pundek btol ah.... i appologise for the crude words mentioned but im extremely pissed cos gaji masok lambat! mana tak sot. aku kener byr bill laptop ni. duit ez link. duit makan. duit tu dan ini. hish! hopefully, pay comes in tomorrow! insyaallah!

urs sincerely,
kiz

p.s: i miss my bf alot. sry for the lack of smses n calls. i thot u were busy and it was a rushing day so i procrastinated abit. i love u alot sayang

2010-02-28T02:19:00.003+08:00

im kinda pissed today cos my pay has yet to come in. instead it will only be transacted on tues! how sucky can that be man! it's like worst than a break up. seriously. all my plans to go m'sia lah , shopping lah, n karaoke lah this weekend all went down the drain!

but hey, my bf wanted to meet me still. how understanding can that orang tua be! hehehe. i promise k syng, nex week we shall go m;sia..

well, i was really early just now. reached vivo 45 mins early! strange! i don't know why these few days I tend to come way early, be it for work or etc. so i jalan2 w my sis n her bf first. after smoking, came faizal.... aww, he kissed my forehead n i love it everytime he does that! we makan at banquet. boy, was he so greedy.. dah makan kway teow grg lagi nak makan rojak ni! ish2... tgk saper lagi boncet! hehehe

so lepas tu kiter walk2.... smoke.. n listen to songs while waiting for our show.. we watched dear john n it was not a great movie but it was nice. it toched my heart.

and then we went somewhere intimate..

i know im getting mushy down here but i cnat help it cos im really in love with this guy. its been a long time since i actually miss someone alot. love someone seriously n sincerely. i love him.

p.s: hoping to meet him before he books in. n im gonna miss him again. nvm 2 more mths before he will be posted as a regular policeman or whatever it is called! hahahaha.

2010-02-25T03:20:00.003+08:00

... and tonight, i cant sleep cos i miss u badly. hurry, come back! i love u soo much

2010-02-23T23:35:00.002+08:00

p.s: i wish u were here. i miss u....

had a great day w sheila today at teck whye swing. here again, we talked about our life. here again, at the same place, same time, at the end of the month, we reviewed everything that had happened to us the whole month. plus, we makan the same food from sinaran restaurant.

N i m happy. i can finally say. we can finally say we moved on. we have someone new, me n sheila. i have faizal. n sheila has remi. We felt as if all of these seems to be so surreal. too good to be true. but hey, both faizal n remi is real. they are right here with us. they are right here with us to hold us tight n tell us that everything's gonna be alrite.

thank u sheila for giving me the support that ive always look out for. i love u.

n of cos, i love u too faizal. take good care of urself later tomorrow at p. ubin. sumpah gonna miss u so much. cant wait for sat. we go makan seafood, shopping n tgk wayang kat jb k syng. i love u

2010-02-22T13:07:00.000+08:00

Tak pernah aku mengerti

apa yang kini kurasakan

kegelisahan hatiku saat ini

ku masih merindukanmu

walaupun kini ku telah bersamanya

tak pernah mampu ku cuba lupakanmu

sungguh tak bisa

ku mengganti dirimu dengan dirinya

sungguh tak sanggup

aku berpaling darimu

sungguh takk bisa

ku mencintainya

untuk melupakanmu

sungguh tak sanggup

aku berpindah dari hatimu

lving this song alot. stupid people kept on burning papers for prayers late night! killing my throat! sucks!

ps: i miss u alot faizal. i thank u for making me smile now. i cudnt ask for more

2010-02-21T02:29:00.002+08:00

Had one of the greatest night w my bf. love him very2 much.... first stop, we met up at beach road to have our lunch along w his friends. after scouting for their camp stuffs, it took us a long time to decide where to go. haha, so we ended up going somewhere intimate (up to ur imagination.. hahahahaa... jkjk). after that we were so hungry, we wento to eat at spize (near river valley). took bus 190 from orchard. he was so cheeky lah, kept on ticklng me. it's been a long time since someone made me laugh so hard! hahahaha. it was unfair tho cos definitely he'd win cos he's a guy; tougher and stronger. but it was really really hillarious when he locked my arms (i cudnt even tickle him back. he was so bloody scared. hahahahhaha). well, he sent me home and I begin missing him. looking forward for our m'sia trip nex sat.

i love him so much. how can i ever think of being angry at him last sun!

i hope he really loves me too...

p.s: sucks, working tomorrow from 1 till 10

2010-02-18T23:49:00.002+08:00

well, yesterday was a lazy day for me...

all i did was to laze around my house during the first half of the day... helped to do the dishes and cleaned the kitchen... fried salmon tuna.. watched tv.. surf the net...

met Farhana at Yew Tee in the evening to do threading... it looks nice. i love it. tho it's abit senget. hahaha. oh wells. after that, met up with faizal n In at Jurong Point... had dinner at banquet. i really miss him alot! my best friend! hehehe. it's been quite some time since I lepak w him n oh boy did he make my day with his funny jokes... hahahaha.... after chimney session, kiter pon bersurai....

itulah kisah hari ini... bosan kan..?

oh ya, somehow aku macam raser yg bf aku jeles biler aku keluar ngan faizal tho he's denying it... hmm... i don;t know lah kan.. well, at least i told him.. hehehehhe.... whatever it is i love him alot. only him and no one else.. n.. n i fucking miss him.. k lah taknak jiwang2.. geli aku... hahahaha

p.s: cant wiat for saturday. n im working in the morn tmrw. sucks.

2010-02-17T00:29:00.002+08:00

valentines day w him was really the most memorable day among all r'ships that i had. he was really sweet. he treated me the way a lady should be treated except that i hate the part where his "GPS" skills can never be trusted. hahaha

thanks for the ring, the movie, the buffet dinner at carousel (the one at royal plaza on scotts opp far east plaza. ive always wanted to go there tapi tak kesampaian.), the camwhoring at esplanade , sending me home n most importantly the love that u've given me. i love u.

well, tadi pagi, he managed to pujok me about yesterday. lucky he knows how to pujok me. biler aku dengar dea ckp sorry syng jer, aku pulak yg cair. hahahahha. tapi rasa geram tu masi ada lah kan. siket2. tinggal sisa2. tsk2.

working was awesomely fun. had dinner w nazurah at far east sakura. lepak w her. she's so fun to be with. her laughter is really infectious. malu siak, lemon aku tibe2 hidup terplanting pat orang sebelah time aku nak makan. hahhaha. reached home at about ten plus.

p.s: i miss him badly. i love u faizal

2010-02-16T03:07:00.002+08:00

working was really tiring.. ended at 10 again! huiyo! can die.... but it was fun cause our effort was well paid off... sales was fantabulously awesome! colleagues made my day seems great.

..until night came.

i dun wish to talk about this matter cause ianya membuang masa dan menyakitkan hati. then again, i just need to trash it all out. (it's even better if u read this. u know who u r).

I AM FUCKING JEALOUS N HURT!

I dun mind if you wan to go out w ur best friend but if I can made the initiative to call u and even informed u about where i am going w my friends beforehand, y dun u do it too? y must u let me ask u first, and then u tell me? closed to 2am and still near the flyers area alone w her?? ahhhh..... saket hati nyer..! mcm nak tarek2 kaki lipas satu2.... frust babe. N he still got the cheek to ask whether i am mad or not? of cos i am... i am mad! cemburu. saket ati. paham tak? i mean if i dun love u, i fcuking dun care....

hah. takper ah. watever uh. who am i lah kan? just a gf. nothing special. baru seminggu satu hari. apa nak dicomparekan dengan someone yg dah kenal since pri schl days right? saperlah diri ini? tak perlu nak bilang mana2 dea pergi..? im not that important what..

well i guess i wont be bothered to inform him about my whereabouts anymore in the future... i think there's no need for me to take initiative....

gonna smoke now. yes i love smoking? so wat??

p.s: everytime i look at our ring that he bought for me, i start to miss him. bt y is he ignorant about this ting? it really hurts alot. afterall, im his gf. im bound to feel jeles. he cud at least inform me beforehand like i did. hmmm

2010-02-14T04:15:00.004+08:00

i love his nose siak! hahahhaha

work is, oh well, tiring and menguji kesabaran ku. i fucking hate Korean tour guides. stupid slit eyes morons. so loud and so smelly, the minute u open ur mouth, ten million cockroaches n flies come fly in! u think i fucking scared of u.? that will only happen when chickens can give birth. u scream, i will scream much louder than u. u r mean to me, i'll be more mean to u. i fucking dun care, i tell u. worked 9 hrs today, fraking lethargic!

But... but.. wuhoo! tomorrow i can get to see my bf! yeay! im waking up in the morn to get something for him. wanna print some stuffs. hahahahaha. valentine's day mah? hehe. i love him so much.

and shoot, i'll be working the whole week straight tomorrow!

adieus

p.s: i miss him so much. meeting him at 2 tmrw.!

2010-02-13T03:45:00.003+08:00

working seems sucky during the day but eventually night time came n put a smile on me n sheila's face. i love u sheila.

and wuhoo!. after so long, i finally can meet my bf. yeay, he picked me up and then we had dinner together. my bf selekeh seh time makan. sampai tumpah sumer kuah. haha. tergoda dengan kecantikan i ker. wahahhahaha...

initially we planned to go handerson waves but malang tidak berbau, aku tersalah bus. hahahahaha. so we went somewhere... (where eh? adalah) and spent intimate times togther. gosh, i cant get enuf of tis man! really2 love him. i can now finally say i move on. i thot this is but a dream. but nope, my bf is real. i really love him.

tomorrow working from 1 to 10. hate it!

anw, cant wait for sunday cos i have a valentine date w him! i love u so much

sleepy day

2010-02-10T01:52:00.003+08:00

Today is really2 a sleepy date. slept at 8 plus in the morning, woke up at 12 plus. talked to my sweetheart for while. really so happy to hear his voice once i opened my eyes. get ready to work, feeling nothing but senget. i feel as if i was floating all the way. my head felt so damn heavy. i even had to drag my legs all the way to my work place. even redbull cannot help me.

oh well, first time in history, I actually lost to Dalli in selling the most number of pictures. well, i can sense an improvement in him. good. tak sia2 aku ajar kau technique2 utok jual gambar dengan lebeh berkesan dalam masa yang singkat. hahahahhaha. he is still yet to find a forfeit that will make me suffer. keep doing your research k dalli. im not even scared a tiny bit!

and yesh, feel so happy as the night time passed by, i finished my work, feeling so lethargic, hungry and weak, my ♥ gave me a call. ahhhh! so happy, hearing him saying put the word "sayang", woah, seriously soothes my heart and take my breath away. serious shit! teros hilang sumer penat lelah. hahhaha. now i can say, im really2 happy.

cant wait for sunday. i miss my sayang soooo much. ♥♥

p.s: going out w my bff faizal, maybe hajar as well tomorrow. we will be heading town in the afternoon to scout for books from a bookfair. toodles! =))

2010-02-09T04:34:00.002+08:00

well... as usual, i went to work from 4 to 9.... so happy cos i received my incentives. wuhoo, kaya siket. after that lepak w dalli. had so much fun. sorry dalli for "ignoring" u n hurt u tt time. really didnt mean it. ur my best friend whom i care n love alot.

and .. and.... and i miss my boyfriend alot.. really wanna hug him now..... hur2....

i thank god for bringing him into my life. he gave me a happiness that i had longed felt n yearn for. thank u syng. .

2010-02-08T04:44:00.002+08:00

i miss u alot sayang.. cant wait for sun. cant sleep lah. i love u faizal. wish u a speedy recovery on ur surgery later. wo ai ni

2010-02-07T02:22:00.005+08:00

My fave pic of all.. i wonder wats beneath that towel. hahahaha

i still wonder if u can dip ur finger into a volcano?

show off.. -.-

i wonder y every singaporean malay man owns a redbull shirt?

ketiak...? haha. this pic looks sexy!

soo tall!!

dun need to do eye surgery k dear. u look nice w specs. hahaha

aww.. taknak tunjuk gigi palsu u ker? hahahaha. jkjk

so cute. feel like biting u

i love this photo. soo cute

somehow he looks cute in this photo. hahaha

emo ler pulak.

i.... i m in love. wahahhahahahaha. w my mr policeman. wahahahhaa
so happy, i dunno wat else to do? i've never felt like this before. feel so happy. thank u abdul! (jgn marah eh syng for calling u that)... hehehehhe

Well we met up at far east plaza. had lunch there. as usual, i ate thai fried rice. then we had a smoke. phew! luckily dea kasi aku smoke. hahahahhaha. Well, as usual, guys love to act as if they are born w gps. we were like making a d'tour looking for bus 65 to go to tampines but end up we was far away from that bustop so we took 418 instead. it was a really long journey. he kept on calling me sayang. n i was so malu lah. today we sat alot. i swear my butt got into a friction. hahaha. almost cause a fire. haha. ok thats lame.

well, we walked all the way to the bbq pit which was situated at pasir ris park. so bloody far. but nvm, i got to hold his hands again! soo happy.

upon reaching the bbq, kinda feel akward abit cause i know none of them except nash. but the chicken was fantabulously delicious! yum2.

10pm, we headed home. 67 journey was soooo bloody long, i slept on his chest. felt so comfortable. we chilled near my area. saw dalli. dalli mcm taknak layan aku. so sad.

then, pop the question... wuhoo, my heart was like skipping a beat! it was beating very fast lor. 160km/hr i think.. hahahhaa. sooo malu but happy at the same time. n i agreed. yeah! love him alot. well the rest is up to ur imagination. hehehehhehe

p.s: i really really am happy. thank u sayang. sayang my abdul very much. hahahaha. anticipating my next date w him!

2010-02-05T02:26:00.009+08:00

wuhoo! had a fcuking awesome time today with the sentosa peeps- faizal sky (my bestest friend ever), dalli digi aka tok mok (another of my best friend), zulhilmi digi aka biskut (my great working buddy) and hisyam digi aka boy tetek (my ex). first stop, we headed to the burberry and robinson sale at expo. met up faizal earlier at cck. was really late. haha. sorry faizal n hilmi. i wanted to look for nike running shoes but cudnt find any. abit disappointed. oh wells. after that we went to the airport to eat popeyes! it was fucking delicious! dalli waited for us there for quite some time. haha. sorry dalli. we ordered 4 sets of 2 piece chicken meal w 4 mashed potatoes n 1 coselaws (however it is spelt) and fish bites. after camwhoring n smoking session, we decided to go for sheesha later at night where we met hisyam.

omg , i had so much fun. thank u boys! u guys rawk my day. later at night my crush call me... aww.... so sweet... like him very2 much. yeay, sat, i had earn a date w him! we r gonna watch movie during the day and afterwards headed to his friend's bbq. miss him so much.

well the pics explain all guys:

Hilmi in shades. at reis turkey cafe

Hisyam in shades.

What grat rows of teeth u have hilmi!

Just for entertainment! haha

syam mata stim!

Faizal and the smoke.

Kiz and the smoke

sampai senget.

we played 7 level pig game. haha. funny game. well, both himi and i have to do forfeit. we had to walk n snort like a pig! funny

2 thorns among one rose

You guys rock!

calling my crush. i miss u

apple flavoured sheesha.

airport camwhoring

waiting for dalli to finish talking w his aunt at macdonalds. mendaknyer. me and the rest were talking about aeroplanes n holoday destinations. i really wanna go for the aeroplane exhibition. maybe this sunday? any taggers?

they are the reason y im still smiling. thank u.

I hope i can smile like this forever!

chiak!

Hilmi- singapore next top model (tgk lah siaper yg amek gambar!)

Faizal covering his dick.

step model lah konon

Faizal showing off his photography skills n it came off ugly. haha

apa lihat2?

after smoking, we r back to camwhoring. carpark airport pon jadilah!

ooh. i look tall. haha

hilimi w his shades again. tgklah sapaer yg amek gmbr.

Dalli smsing saper ntah.

Hilmi and me. i treated him popeye since he helped me to replace me for work. thank u hilmi.

me and faizal after eating popeye. burp

me in shades. faizal in..??

2 piece chicken meal w mashed potato. fantabulous!

Kopek zal, jgn tak kopek.

yummy biscuit bread w strawberry jam!

p.s: i miss my crush alot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anticipating the sky digi 2nd chalet the following month!

2010-02-04T03:23:00.001+08:00

Even if you are a million miles away

I could still feel you in my bed

Near me, touch me, feel me

And even at the bottom of the sea

I could still hear it inside my head

Telling me, touch me, feel me

And all the time, you were telling me lies

So tonight,

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had

Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever try sleeping with a broken heart?

Well you could try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown, you made my body feel heaven bound

Why don't you hold me, need me

I thought you told me, you'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face

And I knew right where I fit in

Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you

Right till the end

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had

Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart

So rather than hold on to a broken dream or just hold on to love

And I could find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight

I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight,

I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had

Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

p.s: sleeping w a broken heart is really painful. i miss u